DARVO stands for Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender. It’s an extremely destructive form of psychological abuse. DARVO tactics allow perpetrators to evade accountability, create confusion, and make the victim doubt their own reality, further perpetuating a cycle of abuse and manipulation.
Unfortunately, this abuse tactic is both highly effective and prevalent. It’s routinely used by perpetrators of domestic violence and narcissistic abuse. More broadly, DARVO tactics are evident in various societal structures such as corporations, workplaces, and politics, as well as in criminal proceedings. When used in societal structures, DARVO perpetuates systems of abuse. The ensuing perversion of justice makes it challenging to hold perpetrators accountable.
D - Deny: Abusers first deny the abuse. Even in the face of clear evidence and logic, persistent denial and diversion can be absurdly effective. The longer I tub of the “deny, deny, deny” tactic can wear down the victim or any accusers, making them question their own memory, perception, and sanity. This constant denial creates confusion, making others question the validity of the evidence and the truth seem elusive. It contributes to a distorted sense of reality, where lies are given undue weight.
A - Attack: The attack phase can range from gaslighting, verbal abuse, spreading rumours, intimidation, and aggression. It’s a tactic to take control of the narrative and undermine the victim. This can make the victim fearful of pursuing the matter further, suppressing their voice and resistance.
R - Reverse: Roles are reversed, with the abuser posing as the victim to garner sympathy. By reversing roles, the offender avoids taking responsibility for their actions. They manage to divert attention away from their misconduct, focusing instead on the supposed wrongdoing of the victim.
V - Victim: The true victim is left feeling anxious, doubted, distressed and overwhelmed by the manipulation, lies, and smear campaign. They might be coping with the trauma of what happened to them while navigating these additional complex psychological injuries.
O - Offender: The offender continues to portray themselves as being attacked, misunderstood, or unfairly treated by the actual victim, using this stance to justify their actions or elicit sympathy. They may seek support or validation from others, sharing their twisted narrative to gain allies or sympathy, further isolating the actual victim. Emotional stories, tears, or feigned expressions of distress make their portrayal as the victim more convincing and compelling.
