Supporting a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) often calls for an unconventional approach, one that may seem counterintuitive when compared to traditional parenting or caregiving strategies. This is a space dedicated for parents, carers, and guardians to exchange their insights, experiences, and advice. To kick off this discussion, we've compiled a comprehensive list of proven strategies uniquely suited to assisting a child with RAD in their journey.
1. Empathy over Anger: This is about disrupting power dynamics that RAD children often try to establish. Respond with empathy instead of anger, which can help children feel understood and supported, while still maintaining clear boundaries and expectations.
2. Practice Patience and Compassion: Patience and compassion are your strongest allies. Remember, the child isn't acting out because they're 'bad', but because they're dealing with something difficult that they don't fully understand.
3. Implement Love and Logic Techniques: Love and Logic techniques can put carers back in control in a loving and kind way, replacing traditional behaviour management systems.
4. Avoid Traditional Behaviour Management Plans/Level Systems: These can often be manipulated by RAD children for their own purposes. Instead, foster an atmosphere of empathy and understanding.
5. Avoid Punishment: Rather than resorting to punishment, focus on helping children understand the consequences of their actions in a supportive environment.
6. Provide a Structured, Loving Environment: Consistent rules with flexible consequences can create a nurturing space for RAD children.
7. Maintain Routine and Structure: A predictable environment can make a child with RAD feel safer and reduce instances of problematic behaviours.
8. Use Conditional Positives and Reverse Positives: Acknowledge specific good decisions and behaviours rather than offering generic praise.
9. Allow Natural Consequences: Allow RAD children to experience the consequences of their choices, delivering these without anger, sarcasm, or lectures.
10. Act Rather than Speak: Actions can be more powerful than words. Instead of relying on lectures, opt for clear and consistent actions to manage behaviour.
11. Use One-Liners: "Thinking words" or one-liners can help avoid power struggles and place the responsibility for actions back with the child.
12. Implement Effective Behavioural Approaches: Set slightly higher expectations for the child than they currently meet at home or in therapy. Maintain eye contact and foster trust and connection.
13. Additional Evidence-based Strategies: Use therapeutic parenting, engage in attachment-based therapy, and remember to prioritise self-care. Include the child in family activities to foster a sense of belonging.
14. Foster Open and Calming Communication: Use calming phrases to defuse confrontations and maintain a calm manner while consistently stating your expectations.
15. Recognise Control Tactics: Learn to identify tactics that RAD children use to gain control, such as ignoring your directives, refusing to complete tasks, or engaging in dishonest behaviour.
16. Prioritise Self-Care: As a carer, it's important to take care of your own mental and physical health. Seek support when needed.
17. Seek Professional Help: Working with professionals who understand RAD can provide targeted therapy and advice.
18. Build a Support Network: Connecting with other carers who understand your situation can offer emotional support, shared experiences, and practical tips.
19. Maintain Realistic Expectations: Progress may be slow and there may be setbacks. Celebrate small victories and remember, this is a marathon, not a sprint.
20. Educate Yourself and Others: The more you know about RAD, the better equipped you'll be to handle its challenges. Also, educate those who interact with your child regularly to ensure they understand the condition.
Lastly, we strongly recommend that carers bolster support systems through regular communication. A strong support network is crucial when caring for a child with RAD. Regular meetings with the child's psychologist, teacher, school counsellor, and parents can ensure a consistent and unified approach to care. By liaising regularly, everyone involved can stay informed, address concerns promptly, and adjust strategies as necessary to best support the child's progress.
1. Empathy over Anger: This is about disrupting power dynamics that RAD children often try to establish. Respond with empathy instead of anger, which can help children feel understood and supported, while still maintaining clear boundaries and expectations.
2. Practice Patience and Compassion: Patience and compassion are your strongest allies. Remember, the child isn't acting out because they're 'bad', but because they're dealing with something difficult that they don't fully understand.
3. Implement Love and Logic Techniques: Love and Logic techniques can put carers back in control in a loving and kind way, replacing traditional behaviour management systems.
4. Avoid Traditional Behaviour Management Plans/Level Systems: These can often be manipulated by RAD children for their own purposes. Instead, foster an atmosphere of empathy and understanding.
5. Avoid Punishment: Rather than resorting to punishment, focus on helping children understand the consequences of their actions in a supportive environment.
6. Provide a Structured, Loving Environment: Consistent rules with flexible consequences can create a nurturing space for RAD children.
7. Maintain Routine and Structure: A predictable environment can make a child with RAD feel safer and reduce instances of problematic behaviours.
8. Use Conditional Positives and Reverse Positives: Acknowledge specific good decisions and behaviours rather than offering generic praise.
9. Allow Natural Consequences: Allow RAD children to experience the consequences of their choices, delivering these without anger, sarcasm, or lectures.
10. Act Rather than Speak: Actions can be more powerful than words. Instead of relying on lectures, opt for clear and consistent actions to manage behaviour.
11. Use One-Liners: "Thinking words" or one-liners can help avoid power struggles and place the responsibility for actions back with the child.
12. Implement Effective Behavioural Approaches: Set slightly higher expectations for the child than they currently meet at home or in therapy. Maintain eye contact and foster trust and connection.
13. Additional Evidence-based Strategies: Use therapeutic parenting, engage in attachment-based therapy, and remember to prioritise self-care. Include the child in family activities to foster a sense of belonging.
14. Foster Open and Calming Communication: Use calming phrases to defuse confrontations and maintain a calm manner while consistently stating your expectations.
15. Recognise Control Tactics: Learn to identify tactics that RAD children use to gain control, such as ignoring your directives, refusing to complete tasks, or engaging in dishonest behaviour.
16. Prioritise Self-Care: As a carer, it's important to take care of your own mental and physical health. Seek support when needed.
17. Seek Professional Help: Working with professionals who understand RAD can provide targeted therapy and advice.
18. Build a Support Network: Connecting with other carers who understand your situation can offer emotional support, shared experiences, and practical tips.
19. Maintain Realistic Expectations: Progress may be slow and there may be setbacks. Celebrate small victories and remember, this is a marathon, not a sprint.
20. Educate Yourself and Others: The more you know about RAD, the better equipped you'll be to handle its challenges. Also, educate those who interact with your child regularly to ensure they understand the condition.
Lastly, we strongly recommend that carers bolster support systems through regular communication. A strong support network is crucial when caring for a child with RAD. Regular meetings with the child's psychologist, teacher, school counsellor, and parents can ensure a consistent and unified approach to care. By liaising regularly, everyone involved can stay informed, address concerns promptly, and adjust strategies as necessary to best support the child's progress.